Sunday, October 15, 2006
Guess most of you guys are in camp ba....should be all i guess ..nevertheless i m at home slacking cause kana force by boss to take some block leave so ya....bo bian have to stay at home do nth n slack.....so tired spending time in camp doing alot alot of paper work....guess this is gona be my army life ba sian n slack..got off abit of time to go for break then stay at home slack....army life is guess its all about slacking ba.....n how to slack....many things happened recently, i guess...lots and lots just as you want them to stop you want them to be simple they end up becoming the oppsite....it become more and more complicated and it keeps coming and coming....

Just wan things to be as simple n straightforward and yet.....Seems like i have some motive in doing things....haiz things juzt cant get solve......y do i alway have to be that bad guy.....maybe i m born with it ba....i start to wonder y we call each other friends... wonder y we can click together so well.... wonder alot of things perhaps because i m me ba....keeping friends just seems so hard....so impossible......i hate being mistaken for....i know the feeling cause i m alway mistaken for something....perhaps i should learn abit of communication skills ba....perhaps i dont know how to communicate or perhaps i dont understand myself at times......if being mature is thinking alot then i rather alway be a kid....be a small little boy that know nth...rather childish.....at least i m think less....at least im happier.

Tired....exhausted......no strength to speak what i think.....too tired to say anything....not saying anything doesnt mean i wrong or i m totally right or wanting to clarify anything....not saying cause i dont see how much it helps.......trusting a frien is hard...truely not easy...guess all of us just gota learn ba...its alway easy said then done. i ve always trust all you guys didnt i......cause i trust all my friends.....trustz.......something so hard to earn and so easy to lose....so easy.....

Sometimes in life we just need that simple person....that simple someone who can alway be there for us who can alway talk to us alway guild us through things....they might not be able to guild you through but they will always be there for you....they will alway appear in times you need they will alway be there when you are the feeling totally down when you are totall restless when you are just totally lost...but it seems that someone nv appears in our life.....or maybe in my life... the fear or saying the fear chatting....has made my thought blow...thinking everything action and the reaction....thinking whatever is done theres a result....thinking either a gd one or a bad one.......oh....just gotta think so much.....so much that fills many brains with so much worries so much sadness so much misery.......there so many things that cant come out from my mouth....i m so tired.....guess i just have to keep all this things in my hearts n nv to be reviewed.....or maybe if one day if i decided to review probably be the day i leave.....i leave the world......so many things.....so many many things...life.....family........work......just so many many things...just hate to live a tough life.......a life where by you have to be understanding....a life where you know just think will happened....a life you just wann run away from it...just dont wann be myself at times...hoping that i can be someone else.....hoping to be loved by everyone....hopping that everyone will treat me nice....

Do the things i wish for very hard to be done ? perhaps i m not fated to have a gd life ...perhaps life just have to be tought ba.....thinking about life always give me alot of gd things but just as i start to have them i lose them at the same time.....so fast so quick and to a extend i have to learn how to take it lightly i have to tell poeple oh...i m alright i m perfectly happy with things i ok with life......enough........i guess thats all ba for now...i m tired just tired to blog ........-just hopping i m not me....not me not me not me - *screaming in silent*


|sMaRtIe_SmArTiE| 1:27 AM|

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